Don Draper and company, reminded us how great some of this stuff used to be but prepare to be shocked by some incredibly bewildering vintage ads that would never see the light of day now.
Here are 20 of the most ridiculous advertisements from the past that left us wondering how they ever made it out in print.
THIS ISN’T A SODA BOTTLE
They know that sex sells. Thank heavens!
Because being married is like being imprisoned. Quite the daring gift indeed.
We see what you did there but seriously give her a break!
HUSBANDS STAY LOVERS
What does a woman do if the husband’s skin is dry, lifeless and middle-aged?
STAY AWAY FROM DANCE HALLS
Like dance halls are the only place soldiers with venereal disease are at. Or are they postmen?
GOING STEADY WITH HITLER
Because not being a virgin, means you’re with Hitler?
A BEER BEFORE BED
Put your child to sleep with some beer. Reminds us of the “Child Beer” gaffe.
I TAKE ONE EVERYWHERE I TAKE MY PENIS
It’s better than what your parents used and it works during the day as well as the night! Of course “it” is still a blast.
DOCTORS SMOKE CAMELS
Much like the apple, a smoke a day kept kept the doctor away. This was before people knew the harmful effects of smoking.
BUY IT, EVEN IF YOU CAN’T USE IT
Don’t need it? Buy it anyway because we would like to sell some.
START COLA EARLIER
Babies should drink cola for a better life. If only we knew when we were babies!
LIGHT UP A MARLBORO
Do you smoke before you scold your baby? This ad says you should.
A REAL MAN
Charles Atlas is going to make you a real man. Naturally.
A CHRISTMAS GIFT
A gun makes everybody happy. Receive a free catalogue in the mail!
97% can survive an atomic blast in a shelter? What about the other 3%?
ACCIDENTAL DISCHARGE IMPOSSIBLE
Papa says it won’t hurt us. And by “it” he means his “revolver”.
GROW YOUR OWN, SMOKE YOUR OWN
Well, it’s nice she’s teaching her daughter to share.
THE MORE YOU PLAY WITH IT, THE HARDER IT GETS
It took us a few seconds to figure out that this is in fact an ad for a videogame console! We though it meant you-know-what when it mentioned “pulling and squeezing your knob.”
Beneficial radioactive properties in a day cream? Why sign me up!
This one’s actually funny though. Perhaps the only one on this list that is.
Have you come across any strange vintage ads? Share them with us!